In the last post we asked if
there is a particular type of person who joins a cult; we also considered how
cults recruit. In this article we are going to reflect upon why people stay in
cults and the consequences of leaving a cult.
NO ESCAPE
We mentioned previously that
no one joins a cult, but rather people are recruited into such groups. Once a
person has been recruited into a cult, various techniques may be employed to
ensure the person will remain. The severity of these techniques is dependent upon
the group. Some of the most damaging cults will completely remove an individual
from their family and the wider society. These groups may then use methods that
will break a person mentally, physically, and emotionally. This may include depriving
the individual of sleep and food, removing items such as mobile phones, clocks,
computers, and anything that will connect the individual with the outside
world. This will leave a person confused, disorientated and susceptible to
suggestion and coercion. Separation from reality allows the group to control
the individual.
CHANGES
‘I changed without even
being aware of it’
Many former cult-members
speak of being unaware of the change that was taking place in their lives.
Their beliefs and passions changed, their attitudes changed, their relationships
changed, the way they saw the world and their ability to reason changed. You begin
to conform to the group without even realising that is what you are doing. I do
not remember anyone at the Kingdom Hall telling me that I needed to dress a
certain way, but when I went along and saw all the men in shirt and ties, I
followed suit (pardon the pun). This is what social psychologists call
automatic influence or mindless compliance.
It has been noted that there
are six psychological principles[1]
that Cults make great use of. They are:
· Consistency
·
Reciprocity
·
Social Proof
·
Authority
·
Liking
·
Scarcity
Cults use these in a variety
of ways and here are some examples:
Consistency – If you have
made promises to the group and then you break them, you are made to feel guilty.
Reciprocity – If you receive
anything from the group, you are made to feel you should repay their kindness.
Social Proof – If you see
group members behaving a certain way, you imitate them because you believe this
is the correct way to act.
Authority – If you respect
authority, you will follow the leader because you believe they are wiser, godlier,
and they have you best interests at heart.
Liking – If the people
around you appear loving and supportive, you will like them and not want to let
them down. We obey what we like.
Scarcity – If you are told
that to leave the group means you will miss out on saving the world, miss out
on salvation, miss out all that God has for you etc. you feel you must stay.
As well as these techniques,
cult adherents are given a healthy dose of fear.
FEEL THE FEAR
Imagine that you have lived
your entire life in a darkened room. This is all you have ever known. There is
a door to get out, but it is locked. It has a sign on it which says: ‘DANGER’.
You have been told that beyond the door lies great evil, and you must never go
through it.
Fear is often a weapon of
choice in cults. To instil fear is perhaps the greatest deterrent against
leaving the group. How do they do this? With
the individual’s ability to reason weakened, they are fed a new narrative. They
may be told that everything in the world is wicked and so the safest thing to
do is to remain within the group, a group that loves them and will protect
them. They may also be told that if they leave, their friends and families will
be harmed.
Fear may be packaged
differently to those who find themselves in more ‘mainstream’ cults. For
example, a group like the Jehovah’s Witnesses will not use some of the extremes
already highlighted, yet they will still use fear to indoctrinate and keep its adherents.
They will say things like:
·
The world is controlled by the devil, so they
should come out and be separate.
·
To leave the group is to leave God.
·
There is no salvation outside of the group.
·
You will lose your family and friends.
Your entire life exists
within the group. Your family is in the group, you marry someone in the group,
you may work for someone in the group, all your friends are in the group. The
group is your life. This makes it almost impossible to leave.
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
What does a cult member do
if they come to a place of no longer believing what they have been taught? They
do not want to stay, but they know that leaving will cost them greatly.
Such as these may be
designated ‘PIMO’ which stands for Physically In Mentally Out. These types are no longer in the group
because they believe what the group teaches, but they remain in because leaving
may cost them their family, their marriage, their jobs and their friends; in
fact everything they hold dear. They are IN yet OUT.
There is also another group
which may label ‘POMI’. This stands for
Physically Out Mentally In. These are ones who have paid the price and left the
group but, having left, they find themselves still believing what they had been
taught. They find it almost impossible to move on or assimilate back into
society. They do not understand the world or how to live a ‘normal’ life. They continue
to fear God’s rejection and are ‘triggered’ by what they see around them. For
example, if you have been taught hat the end of the world is near and then something
like the Coronavirus comes along, you may be tempted to believe the group was
right all along. Consequently, there is a real danger that a person may return
to the group. They are OUT yet IN.
It is one thing for a person to get out of a cult, it is something else to get the cult out of the person
DAMAGE CONTROL
As we might expect, many who
do leave cults are damaged by their experience so much so, that they may need
professional counselling. It is one thing for a person to get out of a cult, it
is something else to get the cult out of the person.
I spoke to a couple who have
recently left a cult and they were experiencing feelings of incredible guilt
and pain. They were lamenting their lost years in the group, beating themselves
up for ‘being so gullible’. They felt guilty for bringing up their children in
the group and were pained by missing out on ‘other things’ they may have done with
their lives. It hurts to find out that you may have missed out on a career, an education,
or a family. It is therefore no surprise that many who leave cults want nothing
else to do with ‘religion’. Who can
blame them?
In my next article, I will
consider ways in which Christians and Churches can help and support those
damaged by cults.
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