My wife was brought up in
The Salvation Army and from a young age she heard about the dangers of alcohol,
gambling, and drugs. She was told that these were things used by the Devil to
rob people of life. A trip to The Salvation Army hostel proved the point. Many
there had turned to alcohol, gambling, or drugs and in doing so, they have had
their lives devastated by a destructive habit. It is true that the Devil comes
to steal, kill, and destroy.
My wife is no longer a
member of The Salvation Army, but that which she was taught has remained with
her. She has never drunk alcohol, gambled or taken non-prescriptive drugs.
Now let me explain a little.
Though at one time my wife would have advocated that all Christians should be
teetotal (and I would agree that this is not a bad thing), she would now say
that the odd drink in moderation can be okay. Though at one time she would have
said that all gambling is wrong for the Christian (and I would agree that this
is not a bad thing), she would now say that buying the odd raffle ticket will
not mean a person will end up as a member of Gambler’s Anonymous.
Though my spouse and I
believe there are some good reasons for Christians to abstain from alcohol and
gambling, the real reason my wife had a problem with these things is because
they were linked to the Devil. There is no way she would want to do anything
that was of the ‘Devil’. Why would she? She does not want to fall into the
devil’s trap!
Where is this going?
Now to avert potential
misunderstanding, and hopefully avoid a backlash, let me make clear what I am doing
here. In using my wife’s upbringing in The Salvation Army, I am in no way
disparaging her (I would not dare) or them (they do a great work), but rather I
wish to illustrate a point. If we are
told that something is of the Devil, and it truly is, we would want to avoid it
at all costs, but what if we have been told that something is of the Devil, and
it isn’t? What if you have been told your entire life that a certain person, a
certain place, a certain practice is of the Devil, but they are not, what do
you do?
Locks
Many who escape cults do so
with baggage. They may be free from the physical influence of the cult, but the
mental and emotional locks can remain firmly in place. Imagine a group told you
that those who have previously left them, are now being used by the Devil to
pull you away. Would you, after leaving the group, want to seek out such as
these? What if you have been taught that ‘organised religion’ is of the Devil,
that churches are demonic and pagan, and that God will soon destroy them; would
you upon leaving the group make a beeline for your local church? That is the
last thing you would want to do. Things that you have been taught whilst in the
cults are not easily shaken off when you leave. Beliefs can persist long after
leaving the group and even after becoming a Christian.
Ex-cultist Janis Hutchinson
recalls a time when a lady who had left a cult and converted to Christ came to
see her:
“No
one knows the anguish I am going through trying to adjust to Christianity…I
feel like a horse is tied to my right brain and another to my left, and both
are taking off in opposite directions. I’m in such a state of turmoil, I think
I’m losing my mind! At night I pace the floor weeping, asking myself, Why is
this happening to me? Why can’t I sleep? Am I going crazy?”[1]
I was recently contacted by
a person leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses. He wanted to talk to someone but, as
I had previously associated with the group, he wasn’t sure he should talk to me.
He told me how it had taken him some time to get enough courage to even get in
touch with me. After reassuring him that I knew where he was coming from and
what he was going through, he agreed to speak to me. He was sure he had done
the right thing in leaving the group, but he was unsure of what the future
holds. Can he still trust God? Is it okay to go to church? He is on a journey
but slowly but surely, he is getting there.
When an ex-cult member contacts
a Christian, they will often be full of conflicting emotions, and we need to be
aware of that. We can often feel ill-equipped to help them, so we are tempted
to either hope that they will figure things out and ‘get there in the end’ or
try to pack them off to somewhere they can receive ‘professional help’. It may
be that some do need specialised counselling, but that does not mean that we cannot
help.
How can we help those
leaving coercive controlling groups? Here are ten suggestions from Janis
Hutchinson:[2]
1. Be conscious of the
emotional state of the cultist.
2. Do not take it personally
of the cultist does not immediately relate to you.
3. If the cultist is willing
to meet you in your home, do not pressure her to attend church, other than a
gentle invitation.
4. Do not rush the cultist
into commitment to Christ.
5. Be aware that some
cultists who have already left their cult may not be seeking Christ.
6. Do not indulge in
negative talk by blurting out where he is wrong and how wicked his cult is.
7. Never relax your
attentions by assuming the cultist’s contact with you means he has given up on
his cult.
8. At a point where you think
he is ready, have the new believer denounce cult writings and cult leaders and
rid his home of cult literature.
9. Be prepared to give up
your time.
10. Communicate respect.
Janis explains more fully
what she means by these points, and if you are interested in this area of
ministry, I would recommend her book to you.
Above all, I would say that
patience, love and understanding are key in supporting ex-cult members. Here at
Reachout Trust we long to support those who were once lost in falsehood to find true freedom in
Christ.
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